On Teaching

I got a nasty note from a parent the other day. I guess we all get them, but I am never prepared for them, and I always feel immediately as if I am to blame for having done something terrible to a child. I never have, but I do know that there is a sense of "us against them" between some of the parents and the teachers who spend many hours of their day with their children.

It shouldn't be like this. Contrary to popular belief, teachers do not lie awake at night thinking of ways to torment their students. I happen to know that we lie awake thinking of ways to reach them, and we lie awake worrying about them, and we lie awake wondering if what we are doing is working, but torturing and tormenting them? No.

I understand that parents want what's best for their children, and they want their children to be in an environment where they are cared for, nurtured, and loved. But to be honest, sometimes these are heading in the direction of being oxymoronic. Many parents want their children to be successful, but they aren't prepared for what that particular child needs to be successful. Some students find schoolwork easy, have no problems with the time frames allotted to them, get along well with others, and come to school each day well-rested and fed. Others don't. Some have difficulty learning certain things, balk at doing certain tasks, work more slowly, don't come with school supplies, don't get enough sleep, and come to school hungry. Some children have chores at home, realize they aren't the only child in the world, accept responsibility for their actions, and understand that appropriate behavior is expected at certain times. I can tell how children talk to their parents by the way they talk to me - even if they deny it, and I have a hard time understanding how any parent would allow their child to be disrespectful to them.

Children need so much in order to be successful in the real world. While teachers are supposed to focus on academics, there is often so much to be overcome before we can get there.

I just wish they would cut us some slack.

Busy Life

Life is so busy these days. My first year of teaching third grade is coming to a close. My grandchildren are growing up. My husband has been sick, but is slowly getting better. At work, all of the usual end-of-the-year things are made more evident by the haste with which they need to be addressed. End of the year TPRIs; end of the year ORIs; Math Profiles; Reading Profiles; Cleaning out folders; packing away wall hangings; Filing paperwork; attending meetings; and meetings; and meetings, etc.

We had our field trip the other day, what an awesome time we had. A ride on "The Miss Buffalo", a boat that took us around to look at the cityscape. Unfortunately, due to the extremely windy weather and turbulent water, we were unable to go through the locks, something we had looked forward to. "But you said we would", said one of my students. Amazing to think that he expects that I have the capability to plan the route.

Blogging

I have found that, unfortunately, I don't get to this blogging task often enough. My last post was about the birth of Benjamin, and since then, when I got home, I have been dealing with a very sick husband. Two days after I arrived in Buffalo I had to take him to the emergency room - that was early in the morning of Easter Sunday. By Monday evening, he was in the ICU at Sisters Hospital in Buffalo, where he remained for 6 days, then in a regular room for 3 more days.

When he came home (after a suggestion that he go to rehab instead), he has been on oxygen and IV meds, still exhausted most of the time, but slowly but surely (very slowly) making progress.

It has been an eye-opening several weeks, in many ways. We came close to losing him, and even he realized that he really almost didn't come home. I have learned that I can do many things that I did not really know I could do - mowing the lawn for example, and learned a few valuable lessons. The garbage cans do not automatically sprout little legs and walk themselves up the driveway.

Some of the things that were more important have become much less so, and my gratefulness that he is home has not diminished. I discovered that there are many, many prayer chains and prayer lists in our community, and that in a small town where most people know each other, or at least know of each other, a short trip to the grocery store resulted in having several conversations about his progress.

I am grateful for our family, this town, my friends, my colleagues, and my church family. Thank you all.

Baby Benjamin

April 11, 2011. Today our 6th grandchild, Benjamin Michael, was born. It is no less exciting than when Tyler, grandchild no. 1 was born, 8 ½ years ago, but what a long way we have come! Though we rarely see the 3 in New Jersey, and I suspect we won’t see this one as often as we’d like, our daughters are very good at keeping us up with what’s going on. Facebook, email, and Skype will be of immeasurable use to us, and I am so looking forward to watching them all grow.
While I wish all my grandchildren lived nearby, I am very fortunate that 2 of them do, and that we get to spend a great deal of time with them. They spend a night or 2 a week at our house, I am invited to the playground and spray park with them, and we are all very close.
So, Benjamin, welcome to our world, you beautiful baby!

New York's Population

I have to say I thoroughly agree with Froma Harrop in a recent editorial. The loss of population in the state of New York is a very good thing. Since most of us complain mightily about too many people everywhere we look, it seems only fitting that we should receive that news favorably.

I haven’t done any research to determine what kinds of people have left the state, but it seems like a win-win situation no matter how you look at it. If, by chance, the people moving out are welfare recipients, then all the better. If they are gainfully employed, then that leaves openings for more who remain, or those who would like to move back.

There really are some good things about fewer people. Things like more parking spaces; the ease of getting a doctor’s appointment without waiting 4 months; less traffic at rush hour; shorter lines at the grocery store; etc.

While I am sure that not all leave because of the job market, there is no doubt that the job market around here is tricky. Many of our family members and friends have experienced the gamut of frustration. Good jobs have been lost, health insurance has been non-existent, and times have been lean. However, if you work at it, these things can be overcome. Some have found low-paying jobs to tide them over for a bit, which is not always a bad thing. Character-building and all that. Some have lowered their expectations for being wealthy, and settled for being content. Some have gone back to school to make themselves marketable in a completely different field. Some have moved away, and yes, it’s sad when those who move away are your own kids, but if they really wanted to stay, they would find a way to do it. Maybe they’ll come back.

I suspect a lot of people use the job issues as a stepping-stone to the fact that they don’t like the weather. While I am not a huge fan of cold weather, I much prefer the occasional snowstorm to hurricanes, tornadoes, mudslides, volcanoes, 100 degree temperatures, and floods. With snow, we know what to expect.
As to the political backlash concerning the red vs blue states, let’s stop caring about that so much. Maybe if we do, we’ll get to the point where we worry more about what political candidates say and do than what party they belong to.

Holidays

11/25/10

I’m not really a huge fan of holidays. I’m not sure why. I don’t have any deep dark, childhood agonies that creep out of the woodwork to haunt me; I don’t suspect government conspiracies or secretive raids on my psyche, I just don’t really love them. I can think of reasons why each holiday annoys me to some extent, but there is nothing huge about any of them that makes me want to crawl into my bed and sleep until they are over. I just want to crawl in bed and sleep until each one is over.

One reason I’m sure, is that I like things to go along in an orderly and predictable way for the most part. Holidays mess that up. Mail doesn’t arrive, stores are closed (as they should be), and having extra time off to make appointments that need to be made doesn’t happen, because, of course, the things you need to make appointments for are also closed.

I’m annoyed about shopping on holidays, because if it is important enough to be celebrated, why do so many people have to work? I get food stores being open, but department stores? Maybe if people didn’t want to shop, then others COULD enjoy the holidays. A conundrum for sure.

Materialism comes into play certainly. Gifts such as ties and perfume used to be the norm for many holidays; now, according to the ads on TV, unless you are buying everyone on your list a car, plasma TV, or a computer, you are not the kind of person you should be. Each holiday has its own special sale. We celebrate Veteran’s Day and Memorial Day now, not by honoring those who fought or died for us, but by purchasing large quantities of everything.

My family is no help. They like, or at least tolerate them, and drag me along on the wave of “doing things”. My husband is almost intolerant of my disdain for holidays, so I have to behave as if I love them, or at least don’t mind them, which in fact makes it worse.

According to everything I read and hear each and every family in the United States celebrates every holiday with huge gatherings of people who all love each and every one of their family members. All contribute equally to the festiveness of the occasion, all are openly thankful for what they have, nobody feels any despair, unhappiness, or aloneness, and nobody is left out of a group celebration. I happen to know this isn’t true, and I think that I am probably not alone in this feeling.

So, for all those who may not be living the picture-perfect life, and may not be able to identify why they just aren’t bubbling over with enthusiasm about every holiday celebration, here’s to you.

Parenting

Yesterday Lynn went up to Lowe's to get something we really didn't need. In the parking lot, there was a kid of about 4 who was directly in the path of an oncoming truck, and Lynn grabbed his arm and pulled him to safety. I forgot to ask if this was after his shopping trip, or on the way into the store, but I think it was afterward, because he had heard the kid's name a number of times in the store. As in "Parker this and Parker that". Parker's mother thanked him, and when Lynn said that it seemed like Parker needed some intervention, she said, "Oh no, we don't belive in that".

Really? They don't believe in teaching a child safety rules? Interesting.

Shades of Green

I am not a hot-weather person, and have no desire to live in the south as so many people I know say they would like to do. While I do not LOVE the cold winter weather, I generally find it bearable, and in recent years have reacquainted myself with skiing so as to have something to do and to look forward to about winter. I am not too fond of air-conditioning, and since I don't have a pool, the weather around here suits me perfectly.

Summers in Western New York are just gorgeous. Greenery abounds, and even in urban areas, there are trees all over the place. Today, as I turned on Main St. after a trip to Tops, I was struck by the varying shades of verdant colors all grouped together, and I just had to take a picture.

Another School Year Ends

Today was the last of school for the year. It is bittersweet, this day, while I love these kids, and will miss them, it is beyond true that we all really need a break from school. The last few days are always difficult. We're trying to finish up things, trying to clean up things, and trying to say goodbye without really saying goodbye. I have to pretend not to notice all the whisperings and furtiveness as students pass things around to be signed by everybody. Then, when they are finished, a designated student or two bring me a note saying how much they love me, or that I am their best teacher ever, signed by everybody.

Today also ends my era of teaching fourth grade. I am moving to third grade in the fall, and while I don't mind really, I am anxious about the challenge. There are things that I really will miss, most of all working with Phil and Eric. We have been partners and friends for many years, and I just always sort of assumed that we would be forever. But times change, and this time has ended. i realized the other day that the students who just finished 4th grade will graduate the year I will retire. So... Onward for 8 more years.

Ramblings

I should be working on report cards. It is Monday night, and they go home on Friday, I have barely started them, so I not only have to finish them, but also print them out, fold them, and put them into the envelopes.

I'm not working on them though, obviously. I am sitting watching House, after having gone out to dinner with some friends, taken the dog for a walk, and talked to my daughter on the phone. I'm thinking about getting ready for bed, because I'll get up early and go to work early so I can work on report cards.

This is not my favorite time of year.

Holidays

I am not, for some reason that I can't fully explain, a big fan of holidays. I honestly don't know what the problem is, I suppose if I delved into my past, I might be able to figure out just what it is that makes me sad around Thanksgiving and Christmas time. Or maybe not.

I do have enough to be thankful for, I am blessed enough to be married to a wonderful and kind man, to have 3 beautiful daughters. They, in turn are fine young women, all making good in this world. The two are are mothers themselves are good moms, raising their children with love, discipline, and the knowledge that they will also take their places in society. I have a job I love, a church family that meets all of my spiritual needs, a comfortable home, enough food to eat, and friends that I can call on for social sustenance and just fun to be around.

So why do I feel like I am in a dark hole, with no end in sight?

Two and Three

Two of my fourth grade boys, C and J, are nuts. They are very good friends, and sometimes I have to separate them, just because they act so goofy with each other. They are pretty typical little boys, though somewhat on the immature side (really).

Yesterday, we were in line for dismissal, just waiting for the 4th and 5th graders to be released (we are rarely ready to go when our grade is called, but that's a topic for another blog). I noticed more than the usual amount of goofiness going on, and asked what was up. It turns out that C and J were "writing on each other".

"Oh my gosh", I said. "That is so pre-k. I can't believe you guys are doing this. Andrew and Baylee do things like that, but THEY ARE TWO AND THREE!"

As went down the hall, Jordan informed me that C and J were arguing now over which one was two, and which one was three.

Report Cards

So my daughter reminded me that I haven't been on here in a while, and of course, she's right. I shouldn't be on here now. If I had any energy at all, I'd be working on report cards. I should be saying things like, "so and so is off to a great start in fourth grade..." But right now I'm too tired. I'd say things I shouldn't say. So I'm watching a taped episode of "House", eating potato chips and drinking a rum and coke made with not-diet pop. It is caffeine-free, though, so I will put on weight, but I won't stay awake.

Her are my weekend plans: get some groceries, pay some bills, go to church, and work on report cards. Did I mention report cards?

Thunderstorms

July 11, 2009

So here we are, Andrew, Baylee, and I, stuck in the house, because of a thunderstorm. The plan for the day, since Kristin is visiting from NJ, was to take the children to Sprague Brook Park for a picnic, and some creek walking. Lynn was supposed to work until noon, and Adrianne was supposed to relieve him. Today is Saturday, which means that only per diems can work, but failing that, regulars can work, but only if they don’t go over their allotted 19 ½ hours. This is ridiculous, as at least two people work for at least a half hour at no pay. CSEA rules, certainly not doused in common sense.

But I digress.

Kristin went to visit a friend this morning, and is waiting until the rain settles a bit, which it is actually starting to do. Lynn hasn’t come home, because the control center has been very busy, and on a day like this, it is good to have two people working together. Never mind the pay thing, it is his job, one which he takes seriously. I don’t mind. It is actually one of the things I love about him, that he does what is right. I wish other people did the same, but I am grateful for the ones that do.

So, instead of a picnic, maybe we’ll go bowling. Or shopping. Or out to lunch – though it is 1:30, and I just put Baylee to bed. She came downstairs the first time I put her there, as if I wouldn’t have noticed a tired, sobbing, sniffling little girl, badly in need of a nap. I noticed, carried her back upstairs, put her back in bed, and left. It’s quiet, so she is either sleeping, or… well, I’d better check.

Yes, she is sleeping.

Andrew and I are amusing ourselves quite nicely. We have played with blocks, played with cars, colored some pictures, talked about some things, eaten Froot Loops and pizza, played with the cat, watched fire trucks go by, and just hung out. The rain is stopping, so maybe we can actually go creek walking in a bit, sans the picnic. The scanner has been quieter, so maybe Lynn can come home soon.

Wandering Thoughts

I write this on the 4th of July, America's 233rd birthday. I have, over the past few days read a number of viewpoint articles, etc. that talk about America's freedoms as they relate to America's people. So, I just want to say, "Thank You" to all the people who have made it possible for me to live in a world that has so much possibility and promise. Yes, I know that America is in some dire straits right now, that many people are without adequate health care or appropriate income due to the downsizing. I know that in our state in particular, New York, our government representatives are acting like a bunch of kindergartners whose mothers haven't taught them to behave appropriately. I know the world at large is facing many issues and problems. But here, in my little corner of the world, life is pretty good. My husband and I have worked hard to raise our 3 daughters to be successful adults, and 2 of them are, in turn, raising their own children to achieve that same status. I have a job that I love, teaching 4th graders, in a pretty good school system that allows me to be creative in my endeavors, yet provides frameworks for me to do a good job. I earn a good salary, plus have benefits that encourage us to stay healthy, yet provide resources should accident or illness befall us. My husband has a job that he likes, even though it is not a full-time position, but provides him with income and allows him time to take care of much of the maintenance of our home. We are able to have some work done on our house to make it more aesthetically pleasing, as well as more comfortable.

While there are many things we don't have - a pool, a second bathroom, a vacation fund, passports, we really do live the good life, and for this I am grateful.

Food Stamps and Beyond

Here is my pet peeve of the day: Food stamps. I was at Tops today buying stuff for our upcoming Memorial Day picnic, and there were two youngish women in front of me. One had a stroller with a toddler in it, one was by herself. The one by herself was buying a bottle of pop, and instead of money, she was using her Medicaid benefit card. Of course, I know we are not to be judgemental. But here's the thing. People who get food stamps, are, for one reason or another, unable to make enough buy to buy their groceries on their own. I am curious as to why food stamps can't be more like WIC. WIC, which stands for Women, Infants, and Children is a program that provides food for lower-income mothers and their children. They receive coupons which detail what they can get. There are a lot of things available. Milk, cheese, bread, eggs, cereal, juice, among others. Snack foods and extras can't be purchased with WIC checks. This forces people to buy healthy and wholesome foods for themselves and their children. Food stamps should be the same way. They should be able to buy meat, milk, bread, eggs, cereal, fruit, vegetables, water, juice, rice, noodles, cheese, etc. If they want potato chips and pop, they shouldn't be able to get them with food stamps. Buying a single cold, high-priced bottle of pop should not be allowed at the expense of taxpayers.

These are my daughters, Kristin, Adrianne, and Kerri. This was taken in November of 2008, when Adrianne, Andrew, Baylee, and I went down to visit Kerri in MD, and Kristin in NJ.

"Grandma's Home"

Yesterday when I got home from work, Adrianne and the kids were there. Adrianne, Andrew and Baylee were playing on the floor, with the cars and the street rug. When Baylee saw me, she squealed, " Bwaaa", which of course means, "Ooh, Grandma's home", got to her feet, toddled over to me and flung her arms up to be picked up and hugged and kissed. What a welcome home!

A Saturday in January

We spent most of the morning cleaning our basement. It is a disgusting job, hoeing out thirty years of accumulated stuff, but gee, someone has to do it. It needed to be done for a couple of reasons; one, it just needed to be done. Mainly though, I want to move the freezer that is in our kitchen down to the basement so I can move the refrigerator out of the dining room into the kitchen, and use our dining room as a dining room. In order to move the freezer downstairs, there needs to be room.

Here's why we need to eat in the dining room: When the babies eat with us, they drop (or throw) things on the floor. This used to not be a big problem, because we would jut call in Jack, our trusty Hoover to clean up the mess, and he willingly would snark around on the floor cleaning everything in sight.

Alas, we no longer have our dog. At 15, barely able to walk, see, or hear, we had to have him put to sleep. In addition to his physical ailments, he often "forgot" to let us know he had to go out, and he was becoming very cranky, especially around the babies. We did NOT want anything to happen.

We miss him, but I have to say, life without a dog is quite pleasant.

Little Round Spaghetti in a Can

I have no idea why my children, and now my grandchildren have always loved little round spaghetti in a can. Being of Italian heritage, I come from the school of thought that says that real spaghetti sauce is started by 7AM at the latest, cooked all day, and served at dinner steaming hot with homemade rolls, salad and lots of cheese. I still make my own sauce, though I don't start it 7Am. Though, come to think of it, sometimes I do. I use canned puree, though, and add spices, meat, etc., but that's only because I leave for work around 7AM.

My mother doesn't even make her own sauce any more, even though I assure her that Grandma would be rolling over in her grave if she knew.

Anyway, my grandson, Andrew, who was staying with me today, brought a can of spaghetti to me that he found in the cupboard, and when I correctly deduced that he wanted them for lunch, proceeded to finish off pretty much an entire can, sharing some with his little sister. I think they taste disgusting. I tried some, just to see if they were cool enough. Yuk!