I got a nasty note from a parent the other day. I guess we all get them, but I am never prepared for them, and I always feel immediately as if I am to blame for having done something terrible to a child. I never have, but I do know that there is a sense of "us against them" between some of the parents and the teachers who spend many hours of their day with their children.
It shouldn't be like this. Contrary to popular belief, teachers do not lie awake at night thinking of ways to torment their students. I happen to know that we lie awake thinking of ways to reach them, and we lie awake worrying about them, and we lie awake wondering if what we are doing is working, but torturing and tormenting them? No.
I understand that parents want what's best for their children, and they want their children to be in an environment where they are cared for, nurtured, and loved. But to be honest, sometimes these are heading in the direction of being oxymoronic. Many parents want their children to be successful, but they aren't prepared for what that particular child needs to be successful. Some students find schoolwork easy, have no problems with the time frames allotted to them, get along well with others, and come to school each day well-rested and fed. Others don't. Some have difficulty learning certain things, balk at doing certain tasks, work more slowly, don't come with school supplies, don't get enough sleep, and come to school hungry. Some children have chores at home, realize they aren't the only child in the world, accept responsibility for their actions, and understand that appropriate behavior is expected at certain times. I can tell how children talk to their parents by the way they talk to me - even if they deny it, and I have a hard time understanding how any parent would allow their child to be disrespectful to them.
Children need so much in order to be successful in the real world. While teachers are supposed to focus on academics, there is often so much to be overcome before we can get there.
I just wish they would cut us some slack.
